Discussions over Tea (Of course, cutting maar ke)

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

NEWS: Noose of the day



The announcement of the recent ceasefire request from Pakistan is being treated with the usual doses of ScepticismWarinessWelcomearmsPositiveness by all concerned. All those not concerned with the event at all, like the British Kashmiris and the dissatisfied Bangladeshis, have also welcomed the gesture with open arms though we're still trying to figure out why they were waiting in the first place. When asked, how it affected them (the British Kashmiris) as to what Pakistan and India agreed to, their representative, 17-year old Zainab "Zennie" Butt, giggled and immediately launched into the explanation of a group hug.
The Bangladeshis simply hoped that it would move India's attention to it's more impoverished neighbour and their clamour on the water-linking issue.
The only people dissatisfied with the announced ceasefire are the troops on both sides, who've been fighting and sparring for so long that they're unsure as to what to do next since they have long ago, given up their natural farmer professions and are now spending their time digging secret tunnels in their fields.
The apparent reason why both sides have unilaterally agreed to the ceasefire seems to be the shortage of Pakistani troops on the Afghan border and the shortage of Indian troops in Assam and Bihar, which are fighting over the right of Biharis to produce too many children. The Assamese subscribe to the view that this is some convoluted RSS-Shiv Sena plot in progress. The Bihar CM, Laloo Prasad Yadav, not surprisingly, has no comments on the issue.

In other news, Jayalalitha has been acquitted by the SC on all counts of wrong doing in the TANSI land case. The only censure in the landmark judgement is that Amma has to "ponder" if there was a "conflict of interest" and conduct "opposed to the spirit of the Code of Conduct if not its letter." J has taken note of this reprimand and has ordered a new secretariat built on Government land where she can ruminate over the repercussions of this judgement.

A recent poll in Chennai reveals that 75% of people think that Chennai is the safest city in India, with Delhi being a distant second at 14%, Calcutta at 6% and Bombay at 5%. When further asked if they felt safe letting their children/womenfolk out at 11 or 12, they responded that their womenfolk often go out at 11 AM to the temples. When pressed as to why they didn't think of the other cities, an astonishing 84.6% could not point out the other three candidates for this survey on a map of India and could point only to Bangalore as a close second.

Disclaimer: The author claims no moral or social responsibility to any of the observations as he has been out of his mind for the past two weeks.

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